


Gluttony

by Cas_giraffe



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 06:07:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23466613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_giraffe/pseuds/Cas_giraffe
Summary: But then I met him, Ren Amamiya. He had a cool and composed exterior and nothing ever got to him. He just had this natural charm to him that attracted people. He was the total opposite from me to say the least.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Mishima Yuuki, Kurusu Akira/Mishima Yuuki, Mishima Yuuki & Persona 5 Protagonist
Kudos: 26





	Gluttony

I’m so damn hungry. 

But it’s pointless trying to find food in this house.

Wandering the kitchen just to be met with nothing. The pain was nothing new to me, but it didn’t hurt any less. Even if I denied it the sharp pains were still there.

The gnawing at my stomach as I lay in bed only amplifies the pain. I try to roll over on to my stomach to dull the pain, but it only made it worse. I can’t fall asleep because I was too hungry, but the longer I stay up the hungrier I’ll become. It’s a cruel cycle I’ve been accustomed to for quite awhile now. Knowing I haven’t ate a decent meal in weeks and the portions only getting smaller as the days pass only makes the pain that much worse. 

But there are worse things. There are always worse things. Not being allow- being too afraid to complain because I would just get yelled at or hit.

I just can’t seem to stay afloat. There’s just this knot at the bottom of my stomach that burns from guilt. Guilty because I know I’ll never be enough for anybody. Not for my family, not for my friends, not for myself. Why would anyone want someone like me? A good for nothing who can’t even sort his feelings out.

What Kamoshida did was inexcusable, but sometimes I felt like I deserved it. That I deserved to get hit, to get yelled and screamed at, then maybe I’ll finally learn to be enough. My parents were worse though. They didn’t care that I came home every night cover in bruises and blood. I told them it was just from volleyball practice and they just accepted it. They don’t care about me, they know I don’t ever eat. They would rather me not eat because it saves money. That’s all they care about, money. Those greedy fucks; I am so tired, I just want to lay down and die. Just to give up and not look back.

But then I met him, Ren Amamiya. He had a cool and composed exterior and nothing ever got to him. He just had this natural charm to him that attracted people. He was the total opposite from me to say the least. I mean after all he is the leader of the Phantom Thieves and all I am is a moderator for some water-down fan site. Sure maybe sometimes I’ll get a hit or two on their next big target, but that’s it. That’s all they see me for is a tool; a tool to find targets so they can be the heroes. They don’t even see me as a friend, but I’m probably being to selfish. I guess at least I’m still useful to them for the time being.

“Hey Mishima!”

There it goes, that’s what I hear all the time, that last name I hate so much. How I wish someone would speak to _me.  
_

”Mishima?”

I looked up to see Ren.

”Hey Amamiya.”

”You alright?” Ren asked with a hint of worry in his eyes.

How can he give me that look? Ask me how I’m doing? When he really doesn’t even care about me.

”I’m fine there’s no reason to worry about someone like me.”

I stood up and headed towards the class room door.

“Mishima!”

I opened the door, ignoring whatever Ren had to say.

”Yuuki!”

I stopped dead in my tracks, I whipped around to meet Ren face to face. I felt trapped, the door was wide open but I was frozen in place.

He was pretty up close. He had long eyelashes and his eyes were a deep grey. His glasses fit perfectly on his face. His hair was frizzy, yet just perfect for him. Heat started rising to my face so I quickly looked away.

”What do you want” I asked a little more harshly than I attended.

”You-

It felt like the world stopped turning.

to come with me.”

”Oh.”

That’s what I get for jumping to conclusions. Why would anyone want me anyway?

”I’ll meet you at the roof.”

I was alone on the school rooftop. Maybe this was all a joke. Maybe Ren lied and told me to come up here so him and his friends could laugh about it.

So this is the view Shiho had...

The ledge did look pretty nice, it’s not like anyone would miss me. I’m just a burden anyway.

”Mishima, why are you up there?”

It was Ren, I didn’t even have to look to know it was him. I didn’t want to look.

I slowly climbed down.

”What took you so long? I thought you were pulling a prank on me.” I sighed.

”I’m sorry, Sakamoto wouldn’t shut up.”

”Sakamoto? Do you call all your friends by their last name?” I asked hoping my intentions weren’t too obvious.

”I guess, I usually do until they ask me to use their first name.” Ren replied.

”O-oh... why’d you use mine then?” I inquired.

”So you would stop, I didn’t want you to leave. Plus it’s a nice name, I’d rather use it, but I didn’t want to be rude.”

I could die right there on the spot, melt away without leaving a trace.

”I-I- mean you can use it... if you want...” I trailed off.

”Yuuki”

I could feel the heat rush up to my face.

_Dammit, why does he have to do this to me?_

I was too lost in thought to notice the silence.

”Well I really didn’t ask you to come up here just for that.” Ren seemed hesitant but carried on.

”Yuuki I... I want you to tell me the truth.”

”About what?” I honestly had no idea what he was talking about.

”We.. we saw your shadow in mementos.” 

It’s like the world collapsed on top of me. I wanted nothing more than to die in that moment.

”O-oh...” That was all I could sputter out.

”It wasn’t a bad thing, it didn’t try to attack us or anything. It was just.. depressing.” Ren followed up.

That didn’t make me feel any better though. I couldn’t even imagine what kind of shit my shadow said. Hell I didn’t even know I had one. What’s that say about me though? That I’m so fucked up I've have a shadow this entire time? 

I didn’t know what to say to him. Didn’t know if I wanted to say anything at all.

”I’m the only one who talked to it though, the other didn’t hear anything that was said. If that’s what you’re worried about. But that’s why I’m here now Yuuki. I want to be here for you.” Ren attempted at reassurance.

Honestly that just made me feel more alone; further away from than ever before. I had something that they were fighting against. 

”I’m not better than the people you fight against.” I said it so softly that I’m not even sure if Ren heard it.

He didn’t reply. He didn’t reply because he knows it’s true. 

He walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me.

”You’re so much better than the people we fight, Yuuki. You’ve helped us so much and your a valuable asset to our team. Without you we wouldn’t be where we are today. But you’re so much more than just an asset Yuuki. You’re an even better friend and I’ve been treating you badly. I’m so sorry for that, but I want to be here for you from now on.”

I wanted to cry, to break down and just cry in Ren’s arms. That would be just too embarrassing. It didn’t help the fact that I had start to tear up.  


”Y-you really think of me as a friend?”

”Of course, Yuuki. You mean a lot to everyone..

The tears started, and I couldn’t stop them. Ren broke away from the hug and started wiping my face.

..Yuuki you mean a lot to me.” 

He tilted my head up.

”Stop crying, you’re gonna mess up that pretty face of yours.” Ren teased.

His hands were cool, touching my face like he was. It felt nice to my burning skin.

”H-hey...”

Ren was now just inches away from my face. I stared at him quizzically, but couldn’t seem to figure out his next move. I fixated my gaze somewhere else, but that’s when he struck.

It caught me completely off guard, but it was soft. It didn’t last more than a couple seconds, but since it’s over I’m not sure if it really happened.

I looked up at Ren in shock.

Why would anyone, especially him, possibly want to kiss someone like me? 

”I can practically hear the gears turning in your head” Ren joked. 

Did Ren just think of this as a joke? Why did I think anything different; why—

He did it again as if to silence the voices screaming in my head. 

”I need you Yuuki. Don’t ever think anything different.” 

”Why me? Out of all people..." I trailed off.

”Because you’re important and I care about you so much. I.. just never knew how to express it. But I’ve been watching you from a distance. I wanted to reach out to you, I just didn’t know how.” He rubbed the back of his neck. 

I smiled, the first genuine smile in years. With Ren by my side I feel as if anything is possible.

”I.. uh- hope you didn’t mind me—

It’s like a wave of confidence surged over me. I slammed my lips in to his and he kissed me back with much more force.

Ren smirked, ”Looks like you didn’t mind after all.” 

I smiled sheepishly.   
  


”Wanna go back to Lablanc with me? I’ll make you some coffee and curry if you want.” suggested Ren.

”I would love that.”

And with that Ren and I left the school rooftop. I left there with a renewed sense of hope, like everything would work out in the end.


End file.
